VIDBE-Q Volume 64 Issue 4
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able to view her first child very differently when supported by her TVI
through an IMH lens:
He (first son with VI) didn't look at anything, even me; but then,
he couldn't see anything. He didn't smile, didn't really have a
personality that started to come out. I look at our two week old
daughter and already see her little personality; and she looks
right at me. Once you get a couple of weeks past the birth, after
you quit riding the high of the hormones, you really need them
to be interactive so that you like them! I'm so glad we didn't
stop after our son. My daughter is restoring my faith in babies—
that they really are nice. It's been such a different experience
from the get go.
I realize now that he just had no sense of whether anyone was
out there. So he was terrified. He was a terrible sleeper. Now I
know that his world was so small that he was terrified to sleep
alone. He couldn't tell whether someone was near him. So he
needed to be held. Like, all the time. He ate all the time. Now I
think it wasn't that he was hungry, he just learned early on that
eating came with the physical closeness he so desperately
needed to feel safe. But then he had feeding challenges, so
feeding wasn't this wonderful experience for either of us. And it
really set us on a bad cycle. If only I'd known – it could have
been so much different. (A. Bennett, personal communication,
April 2016)
Imagine how different things could have been for April, the mother of
a 2 year old with VI and a newborn daughter. Her pain and his fear was
real, but now she is able to read his subtle cues and learning style after
being introduced to them through her EI/VI service provider supporting her
through an IMH lens. Her son can now establish trust and attachment to his
family, which will then create a positive foundation for all future learning
